she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She bit a glass in half.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
