And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Me. At least after what I've been through.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
