Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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