You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
