I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
