Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You are a genius and a whore.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
