I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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