The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
