i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
