So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
