By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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