IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
