On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
