So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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