Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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