seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
