i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
