also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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