sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I believe in your delicious
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
