he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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