break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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