Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
