on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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