Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
