OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
