am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
