He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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