Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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