I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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