The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
