No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I puked a lego.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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