Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
