the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
