with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
