just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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