Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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