I CAN MOONWALK!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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