One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
