and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
