ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
