im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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