It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
