I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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