Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
