It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
