We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
