if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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