you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
