I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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