You made me cry and you don't even care
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
