i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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