U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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