Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i need some magic done to my vagina
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
