We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Need sex. Gaining weight.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
